Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Bad Day

I almost collapsed today.

I just got overwhelmed with it, you know? Pounding in my head.

It wants out. It wants out so bad.

I don't know what to do, really. The others keep telling me that I should get it out, but I don't know. I don't think it should be free. I just think it should be locked away forever.

Knight tells me it's for my own good. I think he's the only one who means it some days, and I know Ten'll give me flak for this, but I know she's thinking of revenge before she thinks of helping me. Even if she wants to, she'd rather hurt Penny than help me.

I guess I should talk about myself? I don't know though. If you knew about me, wouldn't that just be playing to your sympathies? Maybe it's better if you girls don't think of me as a person. Because yeah, part of me wants...wants this signal just to cut out. To not have to listen, to see what I see every day, every hour.

But I really don't know if I want other people to suffer just because I can't take the pain myself.

--King of Cups

1 comment:

  1. Well, your Highness, if you want the pain to end and you're a decent enough human being to not want to let that thing out there is one option I don't see you considering. It's the same option I'd take if I noticed I was falling into Service to one of those Things.

    Kill yourself. If you can find a large congregation of the servants of these Things and take some of them with you even better. But it's better that you die than let It out.